Perspective

This week was a bit of weird one. I found myself stressed out over what I thought were HUGE deals and well worth the agony I was putting myself through. But today two things happened that shook me out of the the pitty party I was throwing.

First, I will write about how I arrived into the panicked mode I was in until this morning. It started on Monday morning when I realized I fell asleep without doing any additional work on an assignment that is due this week. It is a major portion of my grade that I was hoping would get done over the weekend. Tuesday came and I was not able to put as much work into an AR assignment (different assignment) that was due. I have worked really hard on the portion I was supposed to put into a web friendly format, but my writing did not reflect it. When the class ended I walked away with a sense of under achievement and a nagging revelation I had just realized on another graduate school related topic.

On top of school related issues, I started to worry about my future as an educator. I am gaining more confidence everyday in my teaching but am seeing first hand the difficulties I will have finding a job. In the past week at my placement three teachers have been let go. Three great and very qualified teachers, one of whom has a PhD in her field. I can always sub, bartend, and take on new clients personal training to supplement my income, but that is not what I sacrificed the last year of my life for. Needless to say, a lot was on my mind.

Then, this morning (Wednesday) two things happened almost in rapid succession that jolted my drive to become a teacher, which in turn lessened my stress level to finish my other assignment due this week. A classmate texted me around 9am about what she was dealing with at her placement (3rd grade). She had noticed that a student had what looked liked cigarette burns on his feet and other signs of abuse. My heart immediately sank thinking about what that child must be going through.

Not 15 minutes later I notice one of my students was having a tough time staying awake. Normally, I would not want to make a big deal about it and just correct his behavior. But I guess after hearing what happened in the 3rd grade classroom I decided to investigate a little further. When asked if he had a tough time sleeping he responded that he was up all night because his parents were arguing. Seeing that he was a little upset, my cooperating teacher asked if he wanted to talk to the counselor. He said yes and off I went with him to the  counseling office he had never been to and probably never knew existed. On the way to the office I wanted to give some background info to tell the counselor when we arrived. He told me a story of arguments, accidental injuries and keeping his infant siblings safe. The way he told these things was in a voice of experience. There was no hesitation, or even a shock factor, this was of his job.  He is barley 12 years old and has already taken on the responsibility as protector of his younger brothers.

By the end of the day, CPS was called for both students. I felt really foolish thinking my problems were bad when compared what these children have to face everyday. I signed up for what I am putting myself through, these kids didn't. Being there to lend support in these situations is a big part of the reason why I want to become a teacher. Today definitely gave the motivation to start updating resumes and relentlessly applying to every open job that I am qualified for.