Perspective

This week was a bit of weird one. I found myself stressed out over what I thought were HUGE deals and well worth the agony I was putting myself through. But today two things happened that shook me out of the the pitty party I was throwing.

First, I will write about how I arrived into the panicked mode I was in until this morning. It started on Monday morning when I realized I fell asleep without doing any additional work on an assignment that is due this week. It is a major portion of my grade that I was hoping would get done over the weekend. Tuesday came and I was not able to put as much work into an AR assignment (different assignment) that was due. I have worked really hard on the portion I was supposed to put into a web friendly format, but my writing did not reflect it. When the class ended I walked away with a sense of under achievement and a nagging revelation I had just realized on another graduate school related topic.

On top of school related issues, I started to worry about my future as an educator. I am gaining more confidence everyday in my teaching but am seeing first hand the difficulties I will have finding a job. In the past week at my placement three teachers have been let go. Three great and very qualified teachers, one of whom has a PhD in her field. I can always sub, bartend, and take on new clients personal training to supplement my income, but that is not what I sacrificed the last year of my life for. Needless to say, a lot was on my mind.

Then, this morning (Wednesday) two things happened almost in rapid succession that jolted my drive to become a teacher, which in turn lessened my stress level to finish my other assignment due this week. A classmate texted me around 9am about what she was dealing with at her placement (3rd grade). She had noticed that a student had what looked liked cigarette burns on his feet and other signs of abuse. My heart immediately sank thinking about what that child must be going through.

Not 15 minutes later I notice one of my students was having a tough time staying awake. Normally, I would not want to make a big deal about it and just correct his behavior. But I guess after hearing what happened in the 3rd grade classroom I decided to investigate a little further. When asked if he had a tough time sleeping he responded that he was up all night because his parents were arguing. Seeing that he was a little upset, my cooperating teacher asked if he wanted to talk to the counselor. He said yes and off I went with him to the  counseling office he had never been to and probably never knew existed. On the way to the office I wanted to give some background info to tell the counselor when we arrived. He told me a story of arguments, accidental injuries and keeping his infant siblings safe. The way he told these things was in a voice of experience. There was no hesitation, or even a shock factor, this was of his job.  He is barley 12 years old and has already taken on the responsibility as protector of his younger brothers.

By the end of the day, CPS was called for both students. I felt really foolish thinking my problems were bad when compared what these children have to face everyday. I signed up for what I am putting myself through, these kids didn't. Being there to lend support in these situations is a big part of the reason why I want to become a teacher. Today definitely gave the motivation to start updating resumes and relentlessly applying to every open job that I am qualified for.

Considering How I Want To Tell My AR Story

The story I want to tell is one of weaving the themes of my research, perspectives and a few examples of participants with data into a single narrative. My purpose is to tell my story about how genuine conversations with students about their own views, outlooks and experiences (some outside the classroom) will impact how they perform within an academic context. My audience at this point is anyone who wants to listen.

The suggestion that resonated with me the most has to do with how to tell my story. It was suggested that I incorporate my reasoning and thinking, however insignificant I may think it is, in my presentation and paper.

At this point I would not be opposed to possibly doing a member check at the end of my research. This might work in the way that they can see how much more they have participated and used their class time before and after the implementation of our written conversations and their own reflections would be interesting to read about they felt along the way and if they noticed a difference in themselves. My only reservation is I do not want to come across as the only reason I did this was for a school project. regardless if my data supports this AR, I plan to do this in some form when I get my own classroom because it is a theory I believe in.

A reflection that I have already realized is the frustration of what a lot of teachers are faced with when constantly confronted with students who do not put in as much effort as other students. The tendency is to focus in on those who are producing and leave the others behind. When responding to these journals I caught myself doing the same thing. I responded to a couple journals differently than the others. I would put in more thought and effort to those who wrote more. I noticed this almost immediately because this is exactly what I want to avoid. But having this experience made me realize how easy it is to fall in that habit. Now, I tend to write more to those who write less, hoping that there will be a tipping point to where they want to produce more.

The Internet Has Gained A New Resident

Below is a link to my PLN video for EDUC 578 Learning and Technology class. I felt like I had SO much more to say about each tool that I introduced but I abided to the 5 minute time limit, for the most part. I really do feel that I will use each and every one of these tools in my teaching practice.

My Screen Cast

AR Conference: It Was A Presentation!

Apparently, the last CSET in the Spanish series is the longest one (Listening, Reading, Writing and Speaking) and I was not able to attend  the majority of the conference. However, the feeling that I walked away with from after our AR mini presentations was something else. I received awesome feedback not only how to make my presentation better but on what to add in my actual paper. Just being thorough on EXACTLY why I did or didn't do something to let my audience know that I was in a place of reflection and care when planning my AR. 

For example, I was thinking in putting the questions associated with my student dialectical journals in both English and Spanish. I decided not to because I felt their reading and comprehension was in a place where they understand it and it was only their writing and speaking that I wanted to see immediate changes. Plus, when I walked around I could informally assess if they understand the question by having them read it back to me and summarize what they think I am asking for. This was something I would not have added unless someone I presented to highly encouraged me to add it and ANYTHING else I was or will be thinking.

I do need to add more visually clearer images. The camera on my phone tends to blur and my pdf maker always has a shadow in it. Aside from these aesthetic changes no one mentioned any major flaws in my data. Tori did mention something to me that I wanted to use, but I need to remember to ask her what exactly that thing was.

Just letting loose all my feeling about my AR to an engaged audience (was lucky that the people seemed really interested which in turn made me more excited to share) was great for my confidence in that what I am doing is interesting. I am enjoying my AR very much seeing that others were just as enthusiastic when I shared was something else

David Christian's Big History

David Christian, former SDSU professor and current Bill Gate’s benefactee has a different view on how we should judge and learn from history. Christian believes that one needs to reach back 13.7 billion years ago to when our universe was first created to fully grasp the complexities of what we call life. 

We have all seen timelines. There can be U.S. history timelines, French history timelines etc… The thing with timelines is that they are dominated by two things, wars and politics. Often times the two are directly related.  The fact is, so much has happened before human consciousness that is not taken into consideration. To put things in perspective, here is the David Christian timeline of humans:

As you can see, in the grand scheme of things, human life is pretty insignificant. Not to say what our species has accomplished in such a short is not noteworthy. Just that so much more has happened outside our perception of history.

The impact that this video has is that it reminds us to look at the whole picture. It is easy to think we, as historians, have looked at a situation through all the possible lenses. Chances are we have not looked at them through the Big History lens.

I agree for the most part with David Christian. However, as I will note how this would be helpful how to engage certain students, I am not of a science mind. I like physical science, but much rather learn about societal complexities rather than atomic complexities.

This can help my students by opening their minds to history as not just about dates and wars. This would be a great intro for students who are into science to get them excited about history

Action Research: Finishing Up Phase 1

This Wednesday (May 1st) will mark the official end of my phase one of AR. My Research (with a capital r) involves introducing a written dialogue between my students and I. What I am looking for is if the introduction of these conversations will have any impact on their productivity during class and test scores. I have obtained a journal type notebook for each student where we can converse from topics ranging from what they did over the weekend to what they think is difficult about school. I have implemented 2-3 questions per week for the past 3 weeks. The results have been promising so far but up to this point there has been no change in test scores. Student participation and productivity has raised which I am happy about.

There are a total of 24 students and I tend to take around 5 minutes min. responding to each students' response to each of the questions. Needless to say that is a big chunk out of the day after student-teaching, night class and other program requirement. However it is well worth it. The class dynamic is much smoother and I am finding it easier to hold them accountable for their actions, or lack of action, the more I get to know them.

One thing that I have noticed is that I started to exhibit some of the feelings I read about in my education classes where teachers tend to focus more energy on the kids who are producing and participating. I caught myself more than a few times putting more thought and effort into my responses where students wrote more than the students who only wrote a few sentences.

This goes against my view of what a teacher should be. But having this experience made me empathize with those teachers who get frustrated with lower achieving who show little effort and motivated me to not only go back and re-write my responses, but to write MUCH more to those students so they see that no matter what they write, I am going to give it my all to respond to them. My hope is that this will produce a tipping point to where they actually produce more writing in their responses. Here is an example: My writing is in pen and student writing is in pencil.

Another challenge is changing the way I write. Since these are middle school students I am really trying to put more emotion in my writing like exclamation points and smiley faces...I don't know if I will ever get used to the smiley faces though

An Update on Billy Ray

This update refers to a previous "Reflections" post I made on my Weebly page on 10/11/12 under the title "Dealing With A Struggling Student." A few things have happened since this last post. He was suspended for threatening another student (the week after the tragic Connecticut school shooting). Not saying there is any good time to threaten another student, but his choice to do this when all schools were on a more heightened alert was not good. I spoke at his expulsion hearing as an advocate and the decision was made to reduce the action to a suspension. Since his return, he has genuinely made overtures to make the student she threatened feel comfortable and they have had a more amicable relationship since.

Another change is that I am no longer at that school. My last days there I tried my best to push her in the right direction. When she came back from her suspension her attitude toward school changed for the better, but after a couple weeks she reverted to her unproductive ways. I did all I could. I was firm, understanding and more real with her than any other student in my teaching experience so far.

After a few days of playing phone tag with her mom I finally received an update last week. According to her, Billy Ray is doing much better in class. Since the new semester started he has been on top of it and both my former master teacher and vice-principal have been giving Bill Ray positive feedback to his mom. It is funny how the little updates by keeping in touch with parents can make your week better.